A reader from Indiana shares his frustration with his wife, who has resisted making the health changes recommended by their doctors. Seven months ago, the couple both underwent annual checkups, where they were advised to adopt healthier lifestyles to improve their well-being. While the husband embraced these changes, resulting in a 40-pound weight loss and better health metrics, his wife has not followed suit. Despite his positive encouragement, she has made excuses, and no progress has been made on her part.
The husband expresses concern not about appearance, but about the couple’s long-term health. He seeks advice on how to motivate his wife, emphasizing that he wants them both to lead healthy lives together.
In response, Abby reassures the husband that the desire for change must come from within the wife. While he can continue modeling healthy habits, ultimately, the decision to alter her lifestyle is hers alone. Abby suggests that his wife’s doctor should be the one to discuss the importance of these changes with her. Small steps toward improvement can make a significant impact, but the wife must find her own motivation.
In another letter, a grandmother from Colorado seeks guidance on how to instill values of independence in her 7-year-old great-granddaughter, Emma. While Emma is thriving academically and emotionally, the girl’s parents are involved in a custody battle. Her mother’s boyfriend has not been kind to Emma, prompting her grandfather to seek full custody.
The grandmother wishes to teach Emma the importance of self-reliance, focusing on the idea that a woman should not depend on a man for financial support. She wonders at what age she should begin teaching these values.
Abby responds that this lesson is not something that can be conveyed in a single conversation. It is an ongoing process, and the grandmother’s first task is to lead by example. She should expose Emma to positive role models—independent women who are building their careers and lives. Encouraging self-respect and independence through books and videos will lay the foundation for Emma to grow into a confident and self-sufficient adult.
Both letters address important life lessons—personal responsibility for one’s health and the development of independence—highlighting the crucial role that positive role models play in guiding others toward making empowered decisions.
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